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Conversations can get awkward if you do not know how to start them, or if you do not have the guts to strike a question. But what if there is a game to do so? 21 Questions game is an easy and fun way to begin a chat with someone, while getting the chance to know him/her. For many, the amount of questions is not enough to truly know a person. But with asking the right ones, one can have a glimpse of what the person is like.
Benefits of the 21 Questions Game
The 21 Questions game could be a flirty game that one can use to try to impress a girl/guy, and even send signals of availability and interest towards the other. But are the questions only restricted to shallow ones? No. Playing the 21 Questions game is a fantastic way, not just to know more about a person, but also to learn new ideas and concepts from another mind. This game does not limit you to ask simple matters, but you can delve deeper into questioning someone about his/her personal beliefs and experiences in life.
Most of the time, good conversations lead to positive connections. A recent study called The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness by psychologist Arthur Aron shows that it might be possible to fall in love with someone by first asking a set of questions. In his research, he instructed several pairs of strangers to direct a series of personal queries with each other. Afterwards, he found out that those pairs who did so, felt greater closeness, than those who just engaged in small talk.
Intimacy is one way to bond with another human. We build relationships by starting to share our feelings and ideas, either from someone we had known for quite some time or with another we just met. By playing the 21 Questions game, especially with an open and honest mind, one might get the chance to have a good connection with the person he/she is playing with.
How to Play the 21 Questions Game
No need for paper and pencil to play the 21 Questions game. Two people or more should be present, though it is advisable to not go beyond eight, since some might be bored when they’re not the ones answering or asking questions.
If only two people are involved, person A will ask 21 questions and person B will answer. Tables will be turned afterwards as person B will be the one asking then.
For a group, it’s either a person volunteers to first answer the 21 questions, or is randomly chosen to do so. Subsequently, the rest of the group will take turns asking that person the total of 21 questions. The next person to answer the 21 questions can either be one who the group randomly chooses, one who volunteers, or one who the first person nominates to be next.
It is optional for a person to pass on two questions.
If two persons are playing the 21 Questions game, person A asks the first question and person B will answer. Afterwards, person B will ask his/her first question while the other one responds. This goes back and forth until they complete the total of 21 questions.
For groups, person A selects a particular first question to ask, and that starts the round. Same as the rule if two people are playing, person B answers immediately after Person A asks the query. It is optional that other members of the group can ask a follow-up question to Person B about his/her answer.
Then, Person B asks his/her first question to someone else other than Person A. Other participants would then continue to ask someone a question until everyone, including Person A, is able to answer someone else’s query. No one should be asked twice in a round. To move on to a new round, the one who answered last will be the first one to ask a new question to someone.
For this type of 21 Questions game, it is optional that everyone gets two passes.
Round and Round
This kind of 21 Questions game relies on sitting arrangements. Starting by sitting in a circle, Person A chooses a question to ask, and the one sitting beside him/her will be the first one to answer it. This continues on around the circle as everyone answers that first question asked , until it comes back to Person A. After Person A answers, the person next to him/her will be asking a new question, then the routine goes the same as the first round. Meanwhile, if only two players are involved, they will take turns in choosing questions that both of them will answer.
It is optional to give each person time to ask follow-up questions to people’s answers.
No matter what kind of setup that you would like to have in your 21 Questions game, it is vital to know that sometimes, a question could turn into a longer conversation. It is the purpose of the game, anyway. After the arguments or sentiments die down, you can go back to the game again.
Top 21 Questions to Ask a Guy
1. What’s the best and worst thing about being a male?
Some men say that they want to know what’s going on a woman’s mind; but so are the women. This is the perfect chance to have a glimpse of how a man’s mind works. This might lead to a debate though, which will make things more interesting.
2. What movie will you never get tired watching over and over?
Besides that you’ll be learning what his favorite movie is, this question would also be a fascinating conversation to discuss. Through this, you might know if you both share the same taste in films. It is also easy to expand on, since you can ask about his favorite TV shows or his favorite movie character, as well as those which he hates.
3. If you can design and build a tree house, how would it look like?
Is there a man who hadn’t dreamt of building a tree house? This topic is solid gold. You’ll surely be hearing more about his inner creativity.
4. How many phones had you broken or lost?
This might sound like a silly question but behind every lost or broken phone is a story. This could lead to a longer discussion and it could also let you know if he’s clumsy or forgetful.
5. If you are given the ability to read people’s thoughts, would you use it?
Most of the time, it’s better NOT to ask a Yes-or-No question but this one is a great exception. This can show you a glimpse of how he deals with the truth. If he says yes, it might mean he wants to be in control of all the needed facts before he develops an opinion on someone or something. Otherwise, if he says no, this might mean he is a sensitive guy who trusts his instincts rather than be faced with complicated truth.
6. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grow up?
This question would show you a little about how his childhood mind works. It could also lead to a longer discussion and it is fun to talk about!
7. What would you NOT do if you are given 5 million dollars?
This is an amusing question which can give you an idea of the morals in life that he values the most, as well as the activities that he finds atrocious.
8. If you had to choose one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
The answer would reveal his lifestyle choices. Besides, eating is a daily ritual for everyone. And this question could show you if he chooses instant gratification, long-term health, or if he has various options in food.
9. What would be the scariest sound you imagine to hear when you suddenly wake up in the middle of the night?
This question would show you a flash of the thing(s) he is afraid of. You could turn it into a silly conversation, or you can also ask about his other jitters and find if you both have any fears in common.
10. What is the meanest thing someone has told you?
Some people got the meanest insults when they’re younger so this question could take you back in time, which is nice! Also, through this query, you can see his vulnerable side. Additionally, for future instances, you can steer clear of similar insults towards him, since you know the history already.
11. What double-standards in the society do you find ridiculous?
This question is a deep one and it can give you an idea on the issues he thinks are important, or if he isn’t really affected by any societal matters.
12. Who is your favorite author?
This one is a basic question. But it gives you an insight on the genres of books he reads, or if he is not into reading, at all.
13. Would you consider dating a girl who is/was your friend?
This might seem like a simple query, but it could show you if he thinks friendship could lead to a bigger mess or a great and stable relationship.
14. When was the last time you cried?
This may sound like something too personal. But this question could reveal if the guy is sensitive or if he is willing to open up with his feelings.
15. What are you dreaming about when you are daydreaming?
Now is the time to find out what goes in his mind when his eyes glaze over!
16. What was your best mic-drop moment?
Most guys want to talk about an awesome story about themselves and this question could start that. This could also show you of the things he considers important for him.
17. What is the most pointless thing you know how to do?
Time to know his hidden talents! Plus points: he can show it to you, and you might be the first to know.
18. What are the three events that made a big impact to your life?
This is one of the best questions to ask a guy if you want to know him on a different level. It would give you an overview on his past and how he views himself.
19. If you could own three particular cars, what would they be?
Most guys are obsessed with cars, and though some might not be that interested with them, this question could reveal what their dreams are about.
20. What was the weirdest habit you had as a kid?
Everyone had their weird habits during childhood. This question could show you a silly and cute side of him.
21. Which would you choose? Truth or happiness?
You can ask him a follow-up question on why he chooses it. This could engage you both in a discussion, especially if you have a different answer.
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Top 21 Questions to Ask a Girl
1. What would make you cry tears of joy?
This question could show you if the lady is emphatic and connected with their feelings. You’ll also know what makes them emotionally happy!
2. Is there anything you stopped doing even though you love it?
There are a lot of people in the world who had ceased doing what they love because life got in the way. This question could reveal if she is one of them.
3. What was the last book you read?
This could be a start of a longer conversation, because you can ask her about her favorite author or genre.
4. What do you absolutely hate about people?
This could show you if you both have the same pet peeves.
5. How do you find your father?
A woman who has good relations with her father is less of a man-hater, because she knows through experience that most men can be loving and good.
6. If you’re faced with a surprise that you only have six months to live, what are the top ten things you’ll do?
This question would bring out her life goals and desires. You can expand on it by sharing her your bucket list, too.
7. Are you an indoor or outdoor person?
A follow-up question would be necessary for this. If she is an indoor person, you can ask her favorite TV shows, as well as her reading habits. If she’s the latter, quiz her about her favorite travel places and adventures.
8. What would you do if you become president today?
This might turn into a political discussion. But it can also give you a glimpse if she is a compassionate, creative, and intelligent person.
9. What would you grab immediately if your house is on fire?
Sounds comical, right? But this question could reveal the girl’s most prized possession, as well as a back story on why it is important.
10. What is one super power you dream to have?
Flying, invisibility, speaking in all languages. There are a lot of options and choosing only one is hard, so this could be a fun conversation!
11. What does your name mean?
If the woman’s name is Joy, it could be basic to explain. But no matter how simple her name is, there is always a story behind every name given to a person!
12. What is your favorite body part of the opposite sex?
If you are planning to impress a girl, this question could lead you to keep up a good appearance of the body part she will mention.
13. If you can jump into a pool full of something, what would it be?
Molten chocolate, jelly beans, money? This question is unique, and you might also get an uncommon answer!
14. What is the place you favor to visit the most?
Her answer would reveal about what she enjoys doing the most, as well as her personality.
15. What was something you can do when you were a child, that you wish you can still do now?
This question could lead to silly answers! It can also bring back funny childhood memories that you both can revisit.
16. Who are your closest friends?
You might or might not know them yet. But this can show you what the girl finds important in others. Additionally, most girls love to talk about their best friends!
17. How would you describe your perfect day?
If you are interested romantically towards the girl you’re asking, this question can help you on planning for a great day for her, in the future. So, keep notes in your mind about it.
18. What is your favorite color?
This is the most basic question one can ask in a 21 Questions game. But it could benefit you when you’re shopping for gifts for her!
19. What is your favorite holiday?
This might also sound like a simple question, but with her answer, you can plan to make that holiday more special for her.
20. Which person in your life do you admire the most?
You can ask a follow-up question with, “Why?” Her answer would reveal the qualities she endear most on someone, and you can see if you have any that match with them.
21. Are you spontaneous or do you like things planned?
This is one of the best questions that should not be missed to ask in a 21 Questions game. It will give you an idea if you have the same thoughts on it. And, it can also be helpful for future instances, if you’re going to plan surprises for her, or if you’re just going to let things flow.
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Through the 21 Questions game, you can know more about a person deeply, in a fun and amusing way. The questions can be fun and simple, but they can also be transformed into serious and profound ones, where a person should answer honestly, as much as possible. Besides gaining more details about the life of a new acquaintance or a person you’re attracted with, this game also helps you bond more with them. For some, the amount of questions might not be sufficient to fully perceive what that person truly is, but the 21 Questions game is a great start.