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Love is the strongest emotion that any human being can feel. In the meantime, it is fragile and tender, so to keep love blooming is a challenging task indeed. So, any relationship needs a constant work in progress to be successful. It implies the work on yourself and on your attitude towards the relationship.
Here are some facts about love, its stages and the ways, which will help you to get your relationship on track.
Components Of Long-Lasting Love
If you ask couples, who’ve been together for over than 30 years, about the secret of a long-lasting relationship, you won’t get the same answer. It happens because there is no a universal formula for happiness, love, and commitment. However, there are some components of true love, which make a relationship long-lasting. They are:
It’s tough to stay together if you don’t understand each other and don’t look at the world from the same perspective. If your life goals and values differ and you don’t want even to attempt to understand each other, then the relationship won’t last long. In order to be successful, it requires a mutual understanding between the partners.
Faithfulness & Honesty
Studies show that being faithful and honest helps to endure all challenges of the marriage and go through conflicts in a positive manner. When you are together, you share a physical and emotional bond. It is important to feel safe and balanced. Mutual commitment motivates people to preserve and protect their relationship and they understand that an affair may destroy this fragile world between spouses. So, a loving relationship has no space for lies.
The research, conducted by Jeffrey Hall from the University of Kansas, claims that it is important to find the partner, who shares the same sense of humor and can send you some cute funny relationship memes. Laughter and relationship satisfaction are interconnected, so if you laugh together, you are likely to spend more years as a couple and your feelings won’t fade.
It is paramount to be supportive and practice non-judgment. It is impossible to eliminate your desire to judge, but you can make an effort to put judgment aside. Remember that in tough situations, a loved one always needs support and understanding, whereas judgment may completely break him or her. It is important to remember that negative moments will always exist, but each person always does his best to solve the problem.
Studies prove that passion corresponds with happiness, which promotes a long-lasting relationship. A sexual attachment encourages relationship well-being and creates not only physical but emotional closeness. But if you have a lack of passion, then it may entail other problems in a relationship, which may lead to a breakup.
Stages Of A Relationship
Each relationship goes through several stages before people find unconditional love. This bond is unique and each relationship is itself a new and exhilarating experience. Here are common stages, which a person may experience in the relationship.
The infatuation stage
This is the most romantic stage in a relationship as you only get to know the person and you are driven by emotions, not by a sober mind. Everything around seems perfect and you overlook the flaws of the potential partner and everything, which unites you, is a physical attraction.
The understanding stage
At this point, all you want is to learn as much about the partner as possible. You are eager to learn everything about his or her likes and dislikes, families, friends, hobbies. You share secrets with each other, enjoy conversations till the morning and everything about each other fascinates you.
The stage of anxiety
At this stage, people focus not only on the initial courtship, but they start to perceive each other more objectively. First disagreements and conflicts may pop up. Eventually, people find first issues they have different views on.
The perception of the real image
If at the beginning of the relationship you think that you were so lucky to meet the best person in the world, then at this stage, you see the person with all merits and demerits. Your expectations and things in real life may coincide or be different. So, you can make an assumption whether he or she is the one, with whom you want to share your life.
The conflict of interests
When you see each other in a real light, you want a relationship to bring comfort. That is why you try to alter the partner so that she or he will live up to your expectations.
Here may be two possible ways: when two partners evolve, change for the sake of love, compromise, sacrifice, and make the relationship better. Another variant is that one of the partners convinces another to change the behavior towards the relationship. But in the meantime, he or she wants to dominate without changing his or her own behavior. Thus, a conflict of interests arises, which may lead to the destruction of relations. Statistics say that at this stage the highest percentage of divorces happen.
If the struggle for domination is over and people pulled through it, then comes balance and harmony. People accept and appreciate partner’s differences, learn to share love, realize themselves as a couple. The conflicts remained in the past and they can enjoy their happiness together. In this case, a strong attachment comes.
You’ve been together for several years and the common life was smooth. It becomes too monotonous and you start thinking about the previous relationship and compare your companionship to what other couples have. You mistakenly believe that when something goes wrong, it is the fault of your partner or you blame your relations.
At this stage, you may get disinterested in sex and a physical intimacy won’t play a pivotal role in your life. If you are fed up with your sexual life, you look for means, which make sex more exciting and bring you closer. However, at this stage, people, whose love is not strong enough, may end up with having an affair.
Trust and love
You value each other, trust each other, and never take what the partner does for you for granted. You became a team, which is moving out into the world. Appreciation, understanding, unbreakable trust come and you become friends and lovers and don’t imagine life without each other. This stage is achieved not by all people. Only those, who have cultivated mutual respect, understanding and a tremulous attitude may reach it.
3 Ways To Strengthen Your Love
Love and happiness don’t arise by chance, they are cultivated by people and usually, this work is very hard and challenging. Here are some ways to strengthen your bonds and to make your love long-lasting.
Accept your differences and respect your passions
A strong love isn’t based only on things in common, but also on differences. To be together for a long time doesn’t mean that you should spend 24 hours a day only with your spouse. This way leads to stagnation and satiation. Instead of it, embrace your partner’s individuality and let the spouse be himself because those things, which frustrate you today, will amaze you tomorrow. Don’t dwell on small conflicts, always stay positive and don’t provoke your second half.
Also, understand that you have some differences and respect them. They prevent a relationship from becoming mediocre and add a zest into a daily life.
On top of that, find time for your own passions. The partner will never match your interests and needs and it is completely normal. Pursue some separate activities and you will have what to discuss with your loved one. For instance, your husband loves playing golf, but you like tennis. Discuss what you like in your hobby and what irritates you. You can enjoy life both separately and together and that’s great.
Give time to each other
There are hectic days when you are always running out of time and you can’t pay attention to your second half. But even on such days, always dedicate some time to your partner throughout the day. You can get up earlier and have a breakfast together if your spouse goes to work before you.
Moreover, don’t forget to compliment each other and to send cute love memes. It will show that you think about each other, care and add a hint of romance. Also, do something romantic after work. You may organize a candlelight dinner, a relaxing massage or just a heart-to-heart conversation. It is important to preserve a special bond between you and not to allow external circumstances to break it. These couple rituals will help you with it.
Talk and listen
The problem of many divorced couples is that they learned how to talk, but haven’t mastered the art of listening. Your aim is to create an intimate connection with your partner, so discuss everything, which bothers you. Start with open-ended questions every day. You may ask: “Who has been the most influential person in your life?” or an easier question: “Which pet would you like to have and why?” You’ll explore a deeper connection with your partner and grow together as a couple.
Also, controversial political issues, religion, morals, may be discussed. Share your goals, make clear what values you want to instill in your children, understand how the partner feels about the tough things in life. Shared values are more important than shared interests.
Thus, find a balance in life as individuals and as a couple, be spontaneous, romantic, respect and accept your differences. Remember that the more you put in your relations, the more you get back. Stick to this rule and then your relationship will flourish for many years.